Hello Dennis:
I just came across your site. I am getting your book tomorrow. In the meantime, I met a beautiful young lady three weeks ago through a friend. She never says no if I want to see her and enjoys while we are together. I haven't kissed her yet, because she said she needs more time before she's ready for a relationship. I don't want lose her. I like her a lot. What should I do? Is she being honest? How can I tell?
Her background: she broke off an engagement late last year because the guy wanted her to move to another country where he has a wealthy family. She didn't want to move away because her mother, brother and couple of her sisters live here.
Is she just respecting the friend who introduced us? Can you help clarify this?
Hello!
I'm glad you're going to get the book - it's going to help you in some very profound ways. The first way is to better understand that this woman is playing you.
Consider this: if you were Brad Pitt, or Tom Cruise, do you think she' be holding you off from just kissing her? Would she tell them that she needed "more time"? Of course not! There IS a reason why this is happening.
You invite her out, put on your big red nose and floppy shoes, entertain her for an evening where she doesn't have anything else going on and you probably pay for it all too! Then, she shakes your hand and goes home with her "ego bag" filled by your attention. My brother, that is NOT a good sign.
I know that she seems sweet and nice and everything, but NEVER listen to what a woman says - ALWAYS watch her actions! That says more about things than anything she'll ever tell you.
I tell men that they should ALWAYS get AT LEAST a good night kiss on the first date. I don't care what her problems with the engagement were. If she were really in love with this guy, she would have followed him to the ends of the earth. Now, she's making YOU pay for it? Come on my brother - it's time to wake up.
Here's my advice: first, get out and get a few other women's numbers. Once you have some other prospects, she isn't going to seem so important. That's not to say that she won't be your primary interest, just that she won't be your ONLY interest. Start dating these other women. This gives YOU the power. Then, if she won't move ahead; the problem won't be yours (like it is now), it will be hers.
The next time you go out with this girl, KISS HER! What's the big deal with a kiss? Yes, you're afraid of her rejecting you, but don't look at it like that - look at it for what it is. You're interviewing HER to see if SHE is worth your time (and money, etc.) If she "proves" not to be - do yourself a favor and move on.
Good luck, much love...
Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at
dwneder@remingtonpublications.com
for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:
www.remingtonpublications.com.
Copyright (c) 2001, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
